Freddy Fazbear's Jizzeria
by TheBitchCartoonist
Summary: Now we know why Mike Schmidt kept coming back every night. (I started writing this before FNAF 2 came out)


Mike Schmidt was entering the local pizza place where he was about to start his new job that night. He'd heard a lot of bad things about the place, like strange smells and sticky liquids coming from the animatronics, but that didn't stop him from applying. He loved this place as a kid, and he was ecstatic about working there. Besides, he wanted to say one last long goodbye before it shut down for good.

This place was called "Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria", a place for kids and adults alike to have a magical, fantastical time with pizza, games, and, of course, songs performed by Freddy and the Fazband. There used to be another attraction, but it was quickly removed when he was younger after some incident.

He never found out what happened, though kids at school used to spread some pretty silly rumors, calling it the "Bite of '87". Foxy coming to life and biting off a chunk of some girl's head? Ridiculous.

He fondled around in his pocket, searching for the keys the manager gave to him. He finally found the large key with Freddy's smiling face on it and entered it into the hole, turning it and opening one of the large doors.

There were a few lights that were left on by the last ignoramus employee that was in the building, and the place still smelled of pizza. Besides the band, the pizza was what Mike remembered the most about this place. It was unlike any other kind of pizza he'd ever tasted. Fuckin' stuff tasted like God had taken off a piece of Heaven and bestowed it down upon mankind or some crap.

After he had gotten a good whiff, he noticed the three anthropomorphic robotic animals in their places on the stage with their instruments in hand. He walked down the aisle between two long party tables and stopped in front of them, smiling and waving. "Hey, guys. Remember me?" he said, "Probably not. I haven't been here since I was eight."

The trio remained motionless, still in the positions they were in when they were shut down for the night. Too bad the last guy didn't forget to turn on the singing animal band instead of the lights. Their music wasn't half bad, from what he remembered. Mike looked down at his wristwatch and noticed that it was five minutes until midnight. "Well, we'll be seeing each other a lot more from now on. I got a new job where all I do is watch your fuzzy asses."

After saying his goodbyes to the animatronics, Mike headed to the back of the party room and opened the door with the "Employees Only! No Kiddies Allowed Beyond This Point!" sign. He walked back through shortly after to flip the light switch next to him, turning off the lights near the stage.

He made it to the security room in two minutes, sitting down in the rolling chair near the back. Next to a gray tablet that was set on a small table, there was a stack of papers, which was apparently a set of rules. He began to read:

_Welcome to the Freddy Fazbear family! You've been hired as the new security guard, and we've entrusted you with the great responsibility of taking care of our home and main attraction. Just stay in the security room and watch the monitor to make sure that no one comes in(or that nothing comes out!)._

_**RULES:**_

_Do NOT touch the animatronics_

_Do NOT let them touch you_

_Do NOT enter the kitchen_

_Do NOT record anything that happens in the restaurant_

_Do NOT leave the room_

_Please refrain from screaming_

_Head straight to your designated area without stopping to look around_

_If you value your life, you'd better get to the security room before midnight_

_If you happen to survive the night, do not tell a single soul about your experience_

_Keep an eye out on Pirate's Cove_

"Who the hell wrote these rules?" Mike's widened eyes read over the rules before scrolling down to the next bit:

_By the way, the pizzeria runs on double-A batteries, so the power will run down fairly quickly if not used wisely._

"You've gotta be kidding me." Mike rolled his eyes and sighed, crumpling up the paper and throwing it away somewhere. "This must be some sort of cruel joke the manager thought up. He was a real dipshit."

He picked up the tablet beside him and saw that it was a camera monitor. It was already on Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica from the stage. He began to press the buttons to look around to the other rooms. The kitchen was blurred out for some reason, and the screen said "audio only" at the top.

Mike was startled by a loud beeping coming from his watch. It was midnight, and his shift had just started. From the other end of the room, a phone was ringing next to the electric fan. After it rang twice, Mike finally got up to answer it. "Hello?"

"_Hello? Hello, hello?_" It seemed to be a recording instead of a live call. "_Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you that there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay?"_

"Is this guy for real?" Mike scoffed, "How hard can watching a kids' restaurant be?"

"_Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, i-it's kind of a legal thing, you know," _the phone guy stuttered_, "Um, 'Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering the damage or death have occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days or as soon as property or premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced'."_

"What kind of family-friendly place has rules like that?" Mike whispered.

"_Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them?"_

"Quirky?"

"_No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night, too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay."_The guy in the recording continued_, "So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of 'free-roaming' mode at night. Uh. . . something about about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day, too, but then there was the 'Bite of '87'.Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?"_

Mike's breathing became shaky. "The f-fuck?"

"_Uh, now concerning your safety, the only _real _risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours, probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now, since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to. . . forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Um, now that wouldn't be so bad, if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort. . . and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask. Heh."_

"_Y-Yeah, they don't tell you those things when you sign up. But hey, the first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night." _The call clicked, ending and, after a while, beeping.

Mike let the phone fall, the cord allowing it to dangle over the side of the table. He was slightly trembling and his heart was racing. He then forced out a laugh and sat back down. "This-This is all just a joke. A prank on the new guy. Yeah, real fuckin' funny, guys!" he yelled picking up the monitor.

His laugh was cut short and his heart skipped a beat, however, when he looked at the show stage.

Bonnie was gone.

"Oh my God," Mike said, half screaming and half whispering. He flipped through the other cameras. "Where's the bunny? Where's the fucking bunny?!"

He looked through the party room, the hallways, and many other rooms, but couldn't find a single trace of Bonnie. He flipped it past one room where he saw him approach large purple curtains, then quickly flipped back to it.

Pirate's Cove. That's the attraction that was shut down all those years ago. Mike also remembered it being his favorite. That was the game room, and, since it was, of course, pirate themed, the tickets you earned were called your "booty". With those tickets, you could buy eye patches, fake parrots, small treasure chests full of candy, and even a hook for a hand.

Unfortunately, the game room was moved after the so-called "Bite of '87" incident, which he had believed to be just a silly kids' rumor up until that night. Apparently, seeing robotic animal mascots come to life and walk around changed his mind.

In front of the curtains, there was an out of order sign. It was blocked out of vision when Bonnie walked in front of it and opened up the curtains a bit. Mike then saw a hook peep out and open the curtains some more. They were pulled aside until they were opened completely and Foxy revealed himself entirely.

His fur costume was severely tattered and ripped from the head down to the waist. His legs had no costume at all, and his bottom endoskeleton was exposed. Foxy was in desperate need of repair, and he no longer had on his pirate outfit.

"What the hell is going on?" Mike asked himself as he intently watched the two walk onto the Pirate's Cove stage. Bonnie still had his guitar with him, and he held it up towards the air as Foxy began to bend over.

"Huh?"

Mike could hear the shriek from his office room. Bonnie's guitar was halfway into Foxy's mechanical asshole, causing him to cry out so hard that it shook the entire building. The new security guard could see Foxy repeatedly pounding on the stage with his fists, and Bonnie was giving a mischievous smirk to the camera. The purple rabbit was slowly moving the instrument in and out of the fox's chocolate starfish, and each movement made Foxy scream louder.

Mike could only watch with his mouth wide open in shock. "What in the holy mother of flying fuck is going on?!" A children's restaurant with horny robots in suits fucking each other with musical playthings! It was kinda hot.

A bottle of lubricating lotion and a box of tissues were conveniently placed next to him. Mike was getting extremely hot and bothered, and he could feel his pulsating erection make his pants tight. However, even though he was tempted to whack it, he decided to control his furry fantasies in order to stay professional. He was on the job, after all.

Foxy and Bonnie had just changed positions. Bonnie was on his back with his long legs spread apart, and Foxy was teasing the bunny's asshole with his metal hook. He stroked the edges and fondled the inside with the long, curvy metal rod. Bonnie grunted and and moaned eerily, echoing into the dark.

"Oh God. . ." This was getting too sexy for Mike to handle. He decided to switch to a different camera before he exploded. Back at the stage, Freddy was leaving, walking off the platform and walking towards the kitchen. He didn't enter, however, and stood outside the kitchen door. Chica then stomped out munching on a slice of pizza and stood next to Freddy in the hallway.

Mike wondered why Chica was eating human food, but that wasn't the most important question on his mind. He watched intently as Freddy turned his head to face the chicken mascot. When her eyes met his, she dropped the pizza on the ground and made a faint screeching noise.

Then, Freddy tore off Chica's bib, exposing her surprisingly large and jiggly breasts. "Are you fucking kidding me?!" Mike groaned to himself, "What is wrong with these freaks?!" He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, yet he was also struggling to keep from loosening his now-tight pants.

The Fazbear held out his hands and wiggled his fingers for a bit before cupping a breast in each one. He began rotating them and squeezing them, causing Chica to blush. Soon, they were both on the floor with Freddy on top. The discarded slice of pizza had somehow gotten between them, and when Freddy inserted his large bear cock into Chica's chickengina, cheese and tomato sauce was spread all over their genitalia. The bear put on a mischievous face, and he took out his dick stick to lower his head to the chicken's lower regions, licking up all of the greasy, cheesy mess.

After he finished eating, he got thirsty. He crawled back up to her torso and began to fondle her tig ol' bitties again. He squashed and squeezed them, and he began to lick up the milk lactating from her pepperoni nipples. The milk satisfied his thirst with each drop, and he soon finished lapping it all up. Chica barely had the strenght to get off the floor, and she was gasping and blushing beyond her control. Freddy then took this opportunity to fuck her again.

"G-Goddammit!" Mike was dangerously close to whipping out his wonder weasel and jerking off a load. The pre-cum stain in his pants was now dripping, so he decided to switch to the stage camera. Bonnie and Foxy were apparently done with their antics. They were standing around idly, tapping their feet and looking at their wrists impatiently as if waiting for something.

After a while, running footsteps could be heard through the monitor, and Freddy and Chica appeared next to them. Bonnie and Foxy looked relieved to finally see them appear, and then, Bonnie, Foxy, and Freddy all grabbed Chica and forced her to bend over. Foxy went around to her ass and began pounding into it, while Bonnie shoved his purple dick into her vagina. Freddy walked up to her side and shoved down her head, sliding his penis into her beak and having her suck it furiously.

Foxy savagely handled her asscheeks as he fucked her from behind, each pelvic thrust causing the chicken to gasp behind Freddy's rod. Each thrust forced her genitals to swallow Bonnie's wang, as he was too busy playing with her udders. Each titty was rotated around in rough, jagged circles with his paws as he slid into Chica passionately. Chica occasionally opened her mouth to breathe while suckling on Freddy, who patted her head and smirked as she gave him a blowjob.

Mike couldn't possibly hold it in for any longer. "Fuck it!" He unzipped his trousers and pulled out his five dollar foot long dick and began rubbing it like a genie's bottle. He breathed heavily as he watched the animatronic orgy. It was now Chica's turn to penetrate buttholes. She attached a strap-on to her pelvis and was deep into Bonnie as Freddy and Foxy were kissing and fucking at the same time.

Since Mike was a huge pussy, he was already at his climax, and he let out a loud, high-pitched scream as a thick stream of semen went all over the office. The posters, tabletops, and windows were completely painted white. He was sweating all over his clothes and let himself take a rest after that large load had been released.

After he caught his breath, he yanked out several tissues from the box and cleaned up the jizz from the crotch of his pants. He noticed a strange silence, however, as he threw the tissue away. It's as if time in the pizzeria had stopped.

The animatronics, still in their sex positions, had heard him, and they were staring at him through the monitor.

Then it went totally black, and a loud whirring could be heard in the distance. "Oh, shit!" Mike whispered, "The power just went out! I was looking at the monitor for too long!" He heard loud footsteps come towards him from the left hallway, and soon, glowing Freddy eyes stared at him from the doorway as the bear played his tune.

Mike covered his face and closed his eyes tightly, bracing himself for death. He began whimpering as the tune stopped, and he could hear breathing right next to him. Right when he was sure he was going to die, he heard beeping coming from his wrist.

"IT'S 6 AM!" Mike cheered happily, jumping out of his seat, "MY SHIFT IS OVER!" He saw that Freddy was frozen in place and ran down the other hallway. The other animatronics were already in their places, with Foxy in Pirate's Cove and Bonnie and Chica on the show stage. He ran into the front doors and threw them open, sprinting into the parking lot and laughing maniacally. He couldn't believe he was alive to see the sunrise again.

"That was fucking insane!" He ran his fingers through his hair and coughed as he started walking towards his car. He opened the door and and turned the key, starting the engine and turning on the radio. As he drove out of the parking lot, he looked at the restaurant through the rear view mirror. ". . . Well, I might as well come back tomorrow. I gotta pay my bills somehow."

And so Mike decided to come back for four more nights at Freddy's, the horny bastard, instead of getting a non-deadly job. Fan-fucking-tastic.


End file.
